L4 Writing

L4 Writing


So who's the (well-dressed) dummy now?


"Congratulations to Whitehorse Primary School student Christina Tregenza, who is The Age 2011 Ultimate Story winner. "


The story so far: Jake has escaped from the gym but seems to have arrived at his own funeral. What does the malevolent dummy have in store for him? Find out how the tale ends for Jake.


"Your time here is done." A shiver of fear ran down Jake's spine. He felt the dummy's cold hand tighten as they moved towards the rectangular hole. The soothing voice of the dummy continued to talk to him but Jake didn't listen.


It felt like years before they reached the hole, lightning was flashing around them and thunder was booming. Jake thought about the last time he had heard a ferocious storm. Back then he had been safely in bed. Well, not that safe, but anywhere would be better than here. Finally the hole was right in front of them. The dummy's grip loosened just a little bit as she spoke to Jake.


"Your time here is done, Jake Flemming, you are needed in the children's department." What? In the children's department? That could not be right, thought Jake.


Before he could think anymore the dummy's other hand pushed Jake into the grave and there was a blue flash. He could not see or feel anything. He was expecting darkness to surround him and a bang as the lid closed him in forever. Although darkness surrounded him, Jake didn't hear a bang, instead he heard classical music. It was the same music he had heard when he was in his bedroom last night and when he had been in the cemetery.


Jake was frightened. He was standing so stiff it didn't feel right. He could not move, a light was burning down on him and he felt taller. An unusual smell wafted through the air and suddenly a small Superman appeared running to his mum who was standing nearby. His eyes tried to blink in disbelief but would not close. He could only look straight ahead. Slowly it started to dawn on Jake. Standing there stiff in a department store could only mean one thing - HE WAS A DUMMY!!!


This store was very familiar, it was where his mum came to do shopping every week, the Hawthorn Department Store. So this was what that dummy wanted me for, Jake thought. A rumbling interupted his thoughts, and a trolley came into view. Lying on that trolley was a very old and chipped dummy. The trolley stopped right in front of him, the driver looked up and said, "Out with the old and in with the new, that is the way we work!" Just before the trolley went out of Jake's view he saw a long finger pointing at him, but now with the finger pointing at him he felt no pain.


Staring into space Jake thought about everything, wishing he could be back at home watching TV or even doing school work. He stood there hopelessly waiting for something to happen. After a few minutes two children ran up to him and pointed at the clothes he was wearing. It was then when he realised that the children were his two very best friends - well, who had been his very best friends.


Lee and Susie were talking to Mrs Wong, who was now also standing admiring his clothes.


Lee jumped up onto the platform and reached out for whatever Jake was wearing. Jake could see that Lee had a half-eaten Mars bar and extremely sticky fingers. Great, now I will not only be standing here helplessly, but also covered in horribly sticky Mars bar! Jake thought in dismay.


Mrs Wong talked to her son in a stern voice. "Lee, you need to get the jumper from the rack, you can't just take it off that poor dummy!" Jake wished that he could be with his friends, but as he watched them disappear into the rows of clothing, all he could do was stand there and look fashionable. Forever.